Twins and triplets bring extra challenges and joys

May 28, the birthdate of Canada’s famous Dionne quintuplets, is National Multiple Birth Awareness Day

Life certainly changes when a baby joins a family.

For families who deliver more than one newborn, the adjustments are even more frantic and challenging.

National Multiple Birth Awareness Day has been celebrated annually on May 28 since 2005. The significance of this date is that it's the birth date of Canada's infamous Dionne quintuplets — five identical girls who were born in 1934 and were the first known set of quintuplets to have survived their infancy.

Hayley Arsenault from Tignish, P.E.I. has triplets who were born in 2018.

According to their mom, Finn, Hogan, and Rylan are supposed to be fraternal, although Hogan and Rylan look very much alike and there's a 30 per cent chance they are identical.

“Some still struggle telling them apart five years later and I often get asked when out with all three if Hogan and Rylan are twins and Finn is an older brother,” said Arsenault.

Bringing newborn triplets home, she said, was like living the movie Groundhog Day, where everything you do is just repeated over and over again every day.

“There is less routine and schedule as they get older, which can be a good thing and a challenge,” said Arsenault. “One thing I really have to remind myself is that they are still very different from each other and to not compare.”

Even if they won't admit it most days, Arsenault said her boys definitely are best friends.

“They play well together but as always, brothers fight too,” she said.

When asked if having triplets forgoes the need to have friends over for playdates, Arsenault says that they haven't really had any friends over yet.

“I'm sure that will change as they start elementary in the fall,” she said. “But we are always on the go and planning outings with friends.

“Having multiples has really shown me how amazing my family, friends and community is. You will get through

the sleep deprivation and most things are just a phase.”

Arsenault recommended asking for and accepting help and not forgetting to make time to take care of yourself too.

WATCHING THEM BECOME BEST FRIENDS

Doug Ralph from Coldbrook, N.S. is the father of twin boys, Blake and Riley, who were born in July 2022.

Ralph's twins are not identical and are completely different babies in both looks and attitude.

“For the first nine months of their lives, they really didn't care that the other one existed,” he said. “They are only now starting to notice and interact with each other.”

When it comes to raising twins, Ralph said it's definitely hard.

“There's no way for it to be easy, unless there are three people around to help,” he commented. “You'll feel like a single parent, even if there are two of you.”

The most rewarding part of all that work?

“Watching them become best friends”, Ralph said.

MONO MONO TWINS

Alexandria Nash from Paradise, N.L. had mono mono twins in December 2021.

Known scientifically as monoamniotic twins, mono mono twins are identical or semi-identical twins that share the same amniotic sac within their mother's uterus.

She noted this is the rarest kind of twins you can get pregnant with and Joyner Nash Hare and Reece Nash Hare are true identical boys.

Born weighing four pounds, Nash's boys spent

four weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit and now are both are “a whopping 30 pounds and healthy little nuggets tearing up my home.”

Nash's family and friends have difficulty telling the boys apart and her husband still “puts them to bed wrong” — they share a room with two cribs.

“I believe me and my daughter are the only ones who can tell them apart,” said Nash. “If they have their socks off, Joyner has a scar under his foot. While in utero they spent most of the time head to feet, so Reece would suck on Joyner's foot while in my womb and, when born, he had a huge wound. So, if you have a minute to check their feet you can figure it out. But off just glances, you likely have no chance.”

Nash doesn't like it when other mothers undervalue themselves with their new postpartum selves.

“I have a sister who has a newborn and a two-year-old and she often says things like ‘I shouldn't complain to you, you had double this at once.'”

Nash said it doesn't mean what another new mom is going through isn't challenging.

“I'm fortunate that my twins love to play together and can occupy themselves for hours in their playroom,” she said. “This allows me to do chores, prep supper... Her little girl is more clingy, so it's harder for her. I love taking my kids over and they all play and I help her cook dinner and clean up. It takes a village and your struggles are valid. It's sad so many moms feel like they have to compare.”

Like Ralph, Nash said the best thing about raising twins is watching them make best

friends with each other.

“It's so special how they interact.”

It is as if the boys are already watching out for each other, she has observed.

“Sometimes, one boy will have something to drink and notice the other's cup is empty or missing and he will bring his over to share,” she said. “It's just magic to watch them fall in love with each other and create this life bond.”

TRIPLET MOM LIFE

Megan and Chad Lowther live in Mount Pearl, N.L. with their four boys: triplets Ryder, Austin and Dominic, along with older brother Jayden.

The Lowther triplets were born July 23, 2015, on the exact same day their older brother Jayden was born.

“Big Brother got three brothers on his third birthday,” said Megan.

The Lowther triplets are fraternal, but people still mix them up.

Their mom said they are very different though.

“When I found out I was expecting triplets, I made a post in the Multiples of NL Facebook page and Jody Oake reached out to me,” said Megan. “We have been speaking daily since. She helped me through my pregnancy and, together, we try and keep each other sane daily! Not many understand triplet mom life. We, unfortunately, live a few hours apart, but, when we can, we all meet up.”

One thing that might surprise people to learn about their triplets, added Lowther, is that people assume they used fertility treatment for their pregnancy, which is not the case.

“That seems to shock a lot of people,” she said.

Lowther says that raising triplets is a walk in the park, but more like Jurassic Park.

“All jokes aside, it means a very hectic life,” she said. “It also means they have buddies for life. It is so fun watching how different they are; though they clash, they always have each other's backs.

“I think the best thing about it is that every day is an adventure. Never a dull moment.”

WOULDN’T TRADE A THING

Jody Oake, who lives on the Burin Peninsula also has eight-year-old triplet boys: Zackary, Wyatt and Ryder, as well as an older son, Parker, who is 11.

Wyatt and Ryder are identical and Zackary is fraternal, although Oake said most people don't have an issue telling Wyatt and Ryder apart.

“Sometimes, they like to switch clothes and glasses and try to trip us up,” she said.

Oake's boys were born Dec. 13, 2014 and, like Lowther, her triplets were also born on her older son's third birthday.

“It's just pure luck we both had all boys and the same birth situation with our older sons,” she said of the uncanny coincidence. “It's been the best to have each other, knowing what it's like for the other, and our kids are connecting as well …The best thing about having triplets is there is never a dull moment, you're always busy. But most of all you're always surrounded by love.”

Oake said she wouldn't trade the experience of raising her boys and having Lowther as a friend sharing similar experiences for anything.