That’s entertainment? Media still trying to ‘out’ celebrities

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” — Oscar Wilde

I naively thought that by now the days of media outlets publishing gossip and speculation about celebrities’ sexuality would be long gone.

How many years has John Travolta, for example, been the subject of smug speculative pieces about his “real” sexual orientation? As if that was anyone’s business.

And yet twice in the past couple of weeks — without going looking for examples — I’ve seen stories where a celebrity’s sexuality or gender identity has been the subject of the story. Not a footnote, not a sidebar, but the focus.

And that’s just wrong.

On June 16, multiple media outlets reported that Jennifer Lopez had performed onstage at the Blue Diamond Gala in Los Angeles with her 14-year-old child, Emme Muñiz, whose dad is singer Marc Anthony.

“Jennifer Lopez introduces her child onstage using genderneutral pronouns,” the headlines read, with coverage going on to note that Lopez used the word “they,” and that Emme sang into a rainbow microphone.

“I ask them to sing with me all the time, and they won’t,” JLO said. “So this is a very special occasion.”

I can see why the fact that a superstar like JLO performed with her clearly talented offspring would be newsworthy in the entertainment realm, but why does the teenager’s gender enter into it?

And then there’s what happened to Australian actress Rebel Wilson this month when she felt pinned into a corner and obliged to “out” herself after a Sydney Morning Herald columnist tried to confirm who her romantic partner is and gave her less than two days to reply to his questions.

Columnist Andrew Hornery wrote to Wilson on June 9:

“Good morning. I am a journalist from The Sydney Morning Herald and I was hoping I could get a comment from Rebel regarding her new relationship. “While I realise Rebel’s partner has not been mentioned as yet, I have several sources who have confirmed their status and I have enough detail to publish," Hornery wrote.

“However, in the interests of transparency and fairness, before publishing I am reaching out to Rebel to see if she will engage in what I believe is a happy and unexpected news story for her, especially given the recent Pride celebrations."

Wilson, presumably wanting control of her own narrative, confirmed she was in a relationship with fashion designer Ramona Agruma — with whom she has been seen in public in the past, including at the high-profile Vanity Fair Oscars afterparty — before the Sydney Morning Herald’s publishing deadline.

Hornery has since acknowledged he made mistakes in his approach to Wilson, and has said his email “was never intended to be a threat” but rather meant to “open a conversation.”

But why presume that just because someone is in the public eye they might want to engage in a “conversation” with a stranger about their private life?

It seems a part of human nature that we are intent on labelling things, trying to identify them, putting them into precise category compartments or pigeonholes and then exhibiting what we’ve collected. But people are people, not insects to be collected and preserved and pinned and put on display.

If a person wants to proclaim their sexuality to the world and be an activist and advocate for inclusion, that’s one thing. But people should have the right to privacy if they want it, as well.

In a recent guest column for Saltwire Network, Joseph Lahey, a sociology graduate from Dalhousie University in Halifax, wrote about the notion of “coming out,” and said that in the research he conducted with members of the queer community, he heard both pros and cons.

“My research suggests that while queer people find value and meaning in coming out, they also long for a life where no one has to…,” he wrote.

“Their responses suggest that coming out might be becoming outdated… Perhaps today it is political to reject the idea that queer people must come out to validate their identity.… Nobody owes anyone identity disclosure.”

They certainly don’t, and surely that applies to celebrities and their children.

To love and be loved; to live, and let live.

That’s all many of us want.

How many years has John Travolta, for example, been the subject of smug speculative pieces about his “real” sexual orientation?

As if that was anyone’s business.