Remembering Hali and her inspiration

Hali Graves had a lot of spunk.

She wasn’t afraid to try something new. She would put herself out there and if she failed it was okay. She would pull herself up and start over again.

She also had a lot of heart. Not only is this evident by the signs she painted that are on display in the Port Maitland, Yarmouth County home, she lived in – the ones that read ‘Kindness Matters’ and ‘Inspire Others’ – but also in the way people describe her.

“She would have made a real impact, whatever she did, because she wasn’t scared to try,” says her Nana, Phyllis Jayne. “She had a strong spirit.”

That Hali is now talked about in the past tense is heartbreaking for those who knew and loved her. The 19-year-old died in a single-vehicle collision on Sept. 24. She was the sole occupant of the vehicle.

“When you saw the outpouring at the celebration of life service, she must have inspired others to have that many people come,” says her stepgrandfather John ‘J.D.’ Allan. Indeed, she did.

And she continues to inspire others – especially since she had pushed through what had already been so much tragedy in her life.

As a young teenager living in Florida, she lost both parents in the span of 15 months. First her mother Sandra Graves died in 2017 and then her father Cory Graves in 2018.

Jayne (Cory’s mother) and Allan took the teenager and her three siblings – Caitlyn, Cory

Jr. and Cayden – into their home to provide and care for them. This was a home already filled with love. Jayne and Allan were high school sweethearts whose lives went in different directions, but they found themselves again later in life and the spark was still there.

After they arrived in Port Maitland, Hali and her siblings were known in the community as ‘the Florida kids,’ the grandparents say.

“We were overwhelmed by the community support,” says Jayne. “We were overwhelmed how they supported the kids when they came.”

Jayne and Allan – who Hali nicknamed Nana and J.D. – say there was so much about her that was great, not just her kindness but also her resilience and determination.

“When she was younger, she played football with the boys,” her Nana says. “The first time she tried out with the basketball team she hadn’t played since she was a kid. She realized she was way over her head. But the following year she went back and tried again. And she made the team.”

Hali Graves is being remembered as someone who was kind and caring and also resilient.

She often brought flowers to her Nana, even if it was a simple dandelion she had picked.

Her step-grandfather says she adjusted to the changes in her life following the move from Florida to Nova Scotia as best she could. The adjustment to the weather, he says, took some time. You can take the girl out of Florida, but you can’t take Florida out of the girl.

“She was a slim Florida girl. I would be shocked at how she would be dressed when there was a snowstorm outside,” he says with an affectionate laugh. “I’d say Hali, go get some boots.”

The paintings she enjoyed making she would give as gifts to her family at Christmas. Some brought smiles. Some brought laughter.

But for someone who excelled at sports – she played softball, baseball, basketball and was on the cheer team – she could still be a little clumsy, her Nana says with a smile. When she had armloads of stuff and was hurrying down the stairs, there wasn’t always the extra hand available to grasp the railing. Sometimes she’d stumbled or fall.

She had a lot of energy, but even it couldn’t always catch up to her when she was in a hurry.

She graduated from Yarmouth Consolidated Memorial High School in June as part of the ‘Class of 2021.’ Her obituary says her ultimate plan was to hopefully study marine biology at Dalhousie University.

She could have had another calling too, her obituary notes. “She was always willing to cheerfully help out wherever she could, whether it was with a ride or just a listening ear – she would have made a great counsellor,” it reads.

And so her family intends to see Hali continue with that giving and caring spirit by helping, in her memory, a deserving and needy student to further their post-education and career goals.

“We want it to be somebody who needs the money and someone who isn’t scared to fail and get back up and pick themselves up again – whether it’s sports, whether it’s math, whether it’s anything,” says Jayne. “Just to help somebody from this area who wants to continue their education. We don’t care if it’s university. Maybe it’s carpentry. Maybe it’s plumbing. Maybe it’s something just to help them get a career.”

By being an organ and tissue donor, the teenager has also helped others in a very special way. Following her death, her corneas were donated to give others the gift of sight. Skin tissue was donated to help burn victims.

In their Port Maitland home, are two other motivational signs that Hali had given her Nana as gifts.

One reads: ‘If you ever fall on your face, at least you’re moving forward.’

The other reads: ‘It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get up.’

These sayings, her Nana says, really personify her granddaughter.

“I’m going to really miss her,” she says.

“It would have been so nice, when she was all grown up and out of school, and hopefully living close, to be friends. She’s a person I would like as a friend. She was always so caring.”