University graduates returning home to mom and dad

More university graduates are moving back in with mom and dad

“Hi, Dad.”

“Is that your laundry?” “No, it’s all Sophie’s, I told you.…”

“Is that yours?”

“That is mine. That one is mine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. Positive.” “Are you sure?”

“Dad, I’m on the phone. I’m doing an interview! Can you close the door? Thank you.” The door shuts.

“Well, if that doesn’t give you what you need for your interview, I don’t know what will,” said Hannah Taylor, 23, who lives at home with her parents and sister, Sophie, in Corner Brook.

Taylor is one of the 35 per cent of young adults in Canada still living at home with one or more parent, according to the latest 2021 Statistics Canada study.

Twenty years ago, having an adult child continue to live at home rent-free was considered a failure to launch, said Taylor.

Today, it’s become a necessity and the norm.

“All the time, I feel like, ‘Oh my God, I’m in a rut. I’m 23, and I’m living with my parents,’” said Taylor.

“But then you step back and look at every one of your friends and they live with their parents, too. It’s not just you, which helps because you know that you’re not alone and you know that it’s not your fault.”

CHALLENGES OF LIVING AT HOME

Taylor has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and works part time for minimum wage. Still, she is unable to find full-time work and can’t afford to move out.

But living at home as a young adult is not without its challenges.

“You’re still being kind of watched, monitored, by your parents,” she says. “You don’t get the privacy you would get if you were living by yourself. You’re a young adult, you want to have that freedom that privacy, but it’s hard when you’re living with your parents, who still try to parent you.”

Talking with her parents about these issues helps create boundaries, privacy and independence, she said.

Cameron Clow, 23, also feels that lack of independence is the primary drawback with continuing to live at home with parents and siblings.

“I don’t want to use the word ‘freedom,’ but I think living at home, there’s always constant communication. If you’re going to be out and you’re not going to be home ‘til early in the morning, to communicate that so you’re not locked out,” said Cameron, who lives in rural Prince Edward Island.

Clow is also university educated, with a business degree. He works two part-time jobs that don’t provide a steady enough income to afford to move out.

“Also, sometimes you don’t get peace and quiet, or just time to yourself, because it is a social atmosphere.”

GRATEFUL TO PARENTS

Cameron doesn’t hate his situation. He’s grateful his parents are providing him with a place to live, since that may be crucial to being able to afford his own place someday.

“My parents were good enough to let me stay home through school, all through university, because it was cheaper that way. It would set me up in a better financial situation moving forward so I could pay my student loans faster,” he said.

“I’m getting lots of hours, but you can’t get approved for any mortgages or anything if you’re not guaranteed that 40-hour work week. Then, at that point, it’s looking to see if the housing market drops at all or if apartments come down a little bit.”

SOCIETAL PRESSURES

There are also many other societal pressures.

“Obviously, I wasn’t alive in the ’80s or ’90s, but I think back then it was a very common thing in society to go to high school, go to university, get a job right away, get a house, start a family, that sort of thing,” said Cameron.

“I think it’s a little unrealistic to have that expectation that people nowadays should know what they want to do and have their life together by their early 20s.”

Cameron’s father, Stephen Clow, feels the same.

“The reality is, a lot of these young adults have jobs or are post-secondary students or they’re working full time and they just can’t get out of the house, and it’s not in their control,” he said.

“From their perspective, they miss out on the opportunity to get out and become independent at an earlier age. I know, personally, I enjoyed that I was out when I was 18. From a parents’ perspective, we lose a bit of our independence as well. The next phase of our lives gets to be delayed.”

He sympathizes with the younger generation.

“As a parent, you have to put on a good face and say, ‘Oh, now, things will get better,’ and, ‘This could change on a dime,’ but you can’t help but feel kind of bad.”

‘INCREASING DEMAND FOR HOUSING’

Jason Stevens, chairman of the economics department at the University of P.E.I., says things aren’t expected to change.

“I don’t see any of the trends that are causing this looking up any time soon. In fact, they’re getting worse,” he said.

“There’s an increasing demand for housing over time. Every year, as the population grows, you need more housing, and the supply has not kept up. I think the problem is that all the money is in highend buildings when we really need more low-end housing. By low-end, I mean affordable, not necessarily crap.”

Meanwhile, Stephen Clow will keep his home open to his children for as long as they need it.

“That’s why we don’t push them out the door. Sure, I’d love to travel someday, but not at the cost of my kids going on their own and suffering.”