Making your house a (nursing) home

‘There was no way that we were going to separate my parents’

Naval veteran Rod Deon survived D-day, but the centenarian wouldn’t last long without his wife of 74 years.

That’s according to his daughter, Jenn Deon, who has turned her house into a mini nursing home, in part to keep her parents together.

Her mother, Fran Deon, suffered two strokes last August, which meant she could no longer live independently.

“There was no way that we were going to separate my parents after almost 75 years of marriage — that would have been the death of them,” Jenn said.

“It’s really tragic to separate people who have lived together that long. When my mom was in the hospital, my father was distraught every day. And if it had continued, that would have been the end of him.”

Fran said it’s very good being able to stay with her husband.

“Then I don’t have to worry about him.”

The couple was living at Tiffany Village Retirement Residence in St. John’s under the independent-living program. While Jenn said it was an option to keep them there together — with her mother getting assisted living — it would have been costly.

Not only that, Jenn’s mother-in-law, Rita Walsh, had recently moved out of St. Patrick’s Mercy Home because the COVID-19 pandemic meant the family couldn’t see her, and they couldn’t effectively communicate with her because she has difficulty speaking.

“Both facilities were outstanding in their care of the parents. It’s just … when you reach a certain point, you need to look at other options,” Jenn said.

FIVE STAFF ON PAYROLL

With three seniors needing care, the family devised a novel solution: they turned the upstairs of their home into a mini nursing home. Jenn, her husband, David Walsh, and their teenage son, John, all moved downstairs.

She said the accessibility upgrades — which include a wheelchair ramp, hospital beds and accessible bathroom fixtures — cost between $5,000 and $10,000.

They also have a staff of five homecare workers who each work between one and five shifts per week, providing seven-days-a-week care, and they avail of a nurse practitioner through private healthcare company Catalyst Health Solutions.

Jenn estimates the monthly care bill is $6,000 — a price she says they couldn’t afford without the pensions of all three seniors, as well as support from other family members.

“It was a whole big thing to do, but once you do it, you have a really good degree of confidence that our parents are receiving the care that they need, without having to interact with the public long term or even the acute-care system in a way that is always precarious and never good enough,” she said.

Jenn said even in the best facilities in the province the worker-to-resident ratio is not one-to-three, with a consistent staff who know her parents’ routines, like they now have at home.

PROVINCE SHOULD BOLSTER HOME SUPPORT

Not everyone can afford to do that, and Jenn says the provincial home-support program should be bolstered in order to help more people afford to age in place.

Last week, The Telegram published a story about another elderly couple who might be separated due to changing health-care needs. Their son, Gavin Will, is taking the provincial government to task over what he calls “cruel policies” that don’t allow couples to stay together in public longterm care facilities when only one of them needs a higher level of care.

That’s why Jenn said she wanted to share her family’s story, and the tips she has learned along the way, in the hope it might help others facing similar situations.

“I want families to know there is an option — it is possible to do it in your home under certain circumstances.”

She also calls the long-term care situation in the province a crisis, and says everyone is going to have to care for seniors in the home longer, and with higher degrees of care.

“It is a lot of work, but there’s super-amazing rewards.

I mean, we live with my parents. And while that’s not always a sunny day, there are some beautiful moments we’re all able to share together in their elder years as a family.”

Fran said it’s very good being able to live with her family.

“We can talk about our troubles, and talk things over that we wouldn’t be able to do if we were by ourselves.”