Janice Wells: Time to talk mental health

This is mental health awareness month. I hope my story helps raise awareness.

I was diagnosed very late in life, about four years ago, with Bipolar II (two).

Bipolar II is similar to Bipolar I, with moods cycling between high and low over time but in Bipolar II the “up” moods never reach fullblown mania.

Lucky me. Ha ha. What people with Bipolar II disorder have is called hypomania.

Where mania generally impairs function, hypomania usually increases function. It rarely causes noticeable impairment in social or work situations.

So there you are, you’re a person with high-functioning behaviour and capabilities so high functioning, in fact, that you can be quite overly ambitious in what you think you can accomplish.

Lack of confidence is never a problem. Someone once said I’d never be accused of thinking small. Ha ha.

People who suffer from Bipolar II have periods of relative “normalcy” along with what passes as normalcy for them, and so Bipolar II is very difficult to diagnose.

It’s only when you’re in a depressive episode that you might seek treatment and when you’re in the depths of depression neither you nor the doctor think that all of the bold positive things you’ve done might have anything to do with it. You’re just a real go-getter, a high achiever, you’d take on any challenge.

Except when you wake up some mornings and can’t function and it goes on for days because while Bipolar II doesn’t include the highs of Bipolar I, it does include the lows.

And so I was treated for depression. For over 30 years. It didn’t treat the hypomania or eliminate the depression. It did stop suicidal episodes and for that I am grateful.

But treatment for “ordinary” depression can in fact exacerbate Bipolar ll.

Which is what was happening to me.

How bad was it? In the mid 2010’s I was in one of the most debilitating depressions I have ever experienced when I was told I had breast cancer.

Driving home from the doctor’s office I prayed over and over “Please God, if you could just take one away, take the depression. I can deal with the cancer.”

That’s how bad it was. He didn’t take either one away but I did deal with the breast cancer. All went well.

Not so well with the depression.

A few years later my condition was so bad that my sister (who thankfully knew the system) got me into an Eastern Health rapid-response program that facilitated a one visit, in a timely fashion, with an intake psychiatrist.

This woman asked me questions about my life over the years, when I wasn’t depressed, which no other doctor — two psychiatrists included — ever had. She talked to me, drew diagrams, diagnosed me, prescribed a new medication and I haven’t had a depressed episode since. One visit!

There is a downside.

I’m now a bit too introverted. I’m not much into socializing or conversation. Fortunately that suits Newman just fine but I don’t think it’s really a good thing and when I do go out, I’m always glad I did. (Almost. Ha ha)

So maybe my medication could stand with some adjustment. I’ve been reluctant to change anything for fear I might upset the apple cart.

However I’m confident enough now that I’m on the right path that I’ve decided to talk to my doctor about it.

My current doctor isn’t the same one who diagnosed me; her function was rapid intake and referral to another doctor. My current doctor follows the same effective regime because I always tell her everything is good, and I’ve never suggested that the regime might be modified. I will though, because I feel confident enough in my understanding about how I tick.

Sometimes I think about what my life might have been like if somebody had realized how I ticked over thirty years ago, but there’s no point. I was lucky to be finally, correctly diagnosed, even after three decades of pain and mistakes, and what I now cringe about as embarrassments.

Physically, I’ve had a spinal fusion, two hips replaced, a breast removed, part of my bowel taken out, a colostomy and a reversal and hernia surgery and I feel like I’m forgetting something. Ha ha.

I’d take them all over severe depression. My mental health has had much more of an effect on my life than any of my physical problems.

I’m not unique.