Readjusting to a new normal will take time: psychologist

The past year-and-a-half has been a rollercoaster for everyone.

Research is starting to come out about how living in a pandemic has affected people, says Sam King, a psychotherapist at Lesley Hartman and Associates in Halifax.

“Globally during the pandemic, people who were already struggling with anxiety, depression, or insomnia reported it worsened,” said King.

These findings align with what would be expected when a person is experiencing a traumatic event.

“All around, people are feeling more anxious and depressed which is a normal response to a pandemic,” said King.

“People are feeling loss and disappointment about not being able to do the things we want to. It is valid to feel upset and stressed about that.”

Since we, as a society, have not been able to deal with these feelings in the same ways we would before, this heightens people’s emotions.

“When we have a disappointment or loss, we have time to ideally connect with people who are supportive of us or engage in (similar) hobbies. A lot of us can focus on our work or do something to get past that loss,” said King.

“However, what a lot of people are finding is due to a lot of those things being taken away. Because of trying to be safe, some people were able to work, but people weren’t able to connect and get a hug from a friend because of the risk of infection.”

Although a hug may sound like something small, not having that embrace from a loved one has had a huge impact.

“It’s led to people feeling the strain of the pandemic in the sense of not being able to connect in the typical ways,” King explains. “And not having that physical touch and the chemicals that can be produced in the brain just by giving someone a hug and having that reassurance has had an impact.”

Other coping mechanisms — like not being able to go to the gym or do other usual activities — have also had an impact on people’s mental health over the last year.

“A lot of the ones that are unhealthy, like alcohol, have still been available, so there’s a bit of a dissonance there,” she adds. “And over time, that can make it hard to recover from stress when we don’t have our usual ways to cope.”

REOPENING STRESS

Now that things are opening up again as numbers drop, it would be easy to assume that some of that stress will end. But that’s not the case, she says. Instead, King believes it’s also going to bring up a lot of emotions left over from the pandemic — and, she says, it’s important to recognize these feelings are all valid, whether it’s anxiety or enthusiasm.

“With reopenings, there has been a range of reactions, and that is normal. How we cope comes from our temperament, how we were raised, and the culture we come from. So that’s why people who are experiencing the same stress can cope differently,” said King.

If a person is feeling hesitant to immediately be social, that’s also not uncommon.

“There are more people than not who have been hesitant to run out and do something or have a big gathering because we are habitual creatures. We are adaptable, however when we have been in this pandemic for a year-anda-half, it’s challenging to get used to going out and doing things again,” said King.

People may have more reservations going into social gatherings in the future, she adds.

“It’s normal to want to ease into it, even if we identify as extroverts,” she says. “We like routine; it’s part of how we work. So, it can take time to adjust to social gatherings again. People may find it weird, and that’s to be expected.”

BE KIND TO YOURSELF, OTHERS

According to King, it’s important to manage our expectations of ourselves and others over the next few months as we adjust to our new normal.

“I think the hardest part about reopening has been managing expectations. I think a lot of people want to connect with others and they don’t want to disappoint anyone,” said King.

“With a lot of people having different views and positions, there is a bit of awkwardness when it comes to being social.”

Post-pandemic life is bound to be different, and not knowing how is also creating uncertainty among some people.

“I think a lot of people have social anxiety about the new social norms in this new normal, which is to be expected. A good way to acknowledge and deal with those feelings is to just talk about them.”

Her advice: put pride away and talk about any social awkwardness or anxiety you may be feeling.

“The thing that we don’t talk about is the awkwardness of figuring out the new normal. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to know what to do and to be at a certain ideal,” said King.

There is a lot of people who don’t want to show any vulnerability, she says, even though we’ve gotten better about talking about mental health and stress.

“I think that plays into it when it comes to having a conversation about the social rules,” added King. “I think we need to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and accept that there might be some missteps and we might make mistakes and be OK with not knowing everything and be open to learning.”

When it comes to how fast you go back to what was your previous normal, King recommends listening to what your body is telling you, but try to be a little social.

“Take it easy on yourself but make sure you are not excessively isolating for too long,” said King. “There is a fine line between being cautious and overly hypervigilant when we have factual information that supports reintegration because that’s when people can develop anxiety disorders, like agoraphobia. It’s going to be a tricky time moving forward, but if we listen to ourselves, we are going to be OK in the end.”

The next few months are going to continue to be difficult, so King recommends continuing to practice compassion and understanding.

“It’s going to be interesting over the next little while as things continue to open up to see how people do. I think people are resilient and we can adapt. This has been an unforgettable time,” said King.

“I think for the next little while, we will still see people wearing masks even (when) we get the green light to not and still keeping our distance from people. I hope we will all be a bit kinder to each other given what we have all just went through in combination with the tragic events of the last year.”