Ready with advice

After all those years filled with angst, tears, fears and selfrecriminations, my advice to my younger self would be: Some people in your life can’t and won’t change. Accept it and try to be gentle.

Q- While in a coffee shop the other day, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on a group of teenagers discussing their relationships. There were two girls and two boys. One boy was gay, the other straight. The girls were bemoaning the pathetic antics of their latest short-lived relationships.

The straight guy was defending the actions of the guys in question. The gay guy then called him out, by saying, “Honey, you are perpetuating my mantra: I don’t date boys. I only date men!”

There were high-fives between him, and the girls and the fourth guy sat with his tail between his legs. I wanted to sit down with them and give them my sage 28-year-old advice.

Should I have?

Older and wiser

A- The fact that you were all standing around waiting for your drinks in a small area makes it less rude that you were eavesdropping. It was probably impossible not to hear them. So, with the right attitude and flair, I think you could have pulled it off. But if they gave you the side-eye or stink-eye, I’d quickly walk away. I get the impression from your letter that they would have been open to it.

Feedback regarding the woman who misses her close relationship with her sister (Oct. 27):

Reader - I am the sister who apparently needs to be corrected by my sister all the time. Any news I share is met with a negative reply or criticism because she always knows better than I do.

I’m tired of the constant verbal beatings. I recognize and accept she has always had mental health issues which she has worked hard to address.

When we speak on the phone, I always make sure to make her laugh about something. She says I’m the only one who makes her laugh.

Too often our calls end with, “I’m sorry but I have to go now” when one of us is close to losing civility. It impacts our family members.

We get along in public for short periods of time, we love each other’s partners and kids, we’re interested in what’s new and support each other during tough times.

As to your suggestion, there is absolutely no way I would suggest a girls’ time with my sister to try to resolve things or explore the causes.

I love her because she’s my sister, but I would have dumped her decades ago if she were a friend. The sad truth is, I don’t really care anymore if it gets better or worse.

After all those years filled with angst, tears, fears and self-recriminations, my advice to my younger self would be: Some people in your life can’t and won’t change. Accept it and try to be gentle.

Just sharing my reality to the writer’s inquiry and your response.