Families healing together

Residential school survivors, descendants focus on cultural learning, not past trauma

SYDNEY - Karen Bernard saw no tears being shed during the two-day gathering for survivors of Indian Residential Schools and their descendants last week in Membertou.

It was the first time Bernard, a social justice advocate who has been organizing events like these for more than 20 years, witnessed a healing gathering with little to no tears.

"Sometimes when we end up in these events it's like a rerun of the past again. It's always bringing forward those hurts and people are doing a lot of disclosures and talking about what they have experienced," said Bernard who helped organize the Mawikwayk Ajikna'ti'k AgiKjitaqati'k (Family Reconciliation Gathering) held from Sept. 20-21.

"What we have done is now, moving forward, is skipping over that. Not forgetting it, of course, but moving forward to a better way of healing now using culture. Which is so important."

Survivors shared stories about how they've found healing, like Eskasoni elder Georgina Doucette who spoke with her granddaughter Leah Doucette - both seamstresses.

"(Georgina) talked about her healing and sewing. When she first started she made a blanket that was like a run that took up her living room, it was so big. And that was her tool," said Rose (Rosie) Sylliboy, another organizer of the gathering which was presented by Mawika'mk.

Special attention was made to make sure the workshops during the gathering didn't trigger past traumas and focused on Mi'kmaq culture and knowledge, including a workshop on parenting.

"All of these workshops we've done are resonating more happiness in people. And people are starting to, like I said to someone else earlier, we didn't even use any Kleenex this time. None that I (saw). Normally we do. The room is usually full of tears," Bernard said.

"The workshops that I made sure we had were about healing, about learning new ways of doing things so we didn't have to go reflect back and get stuck on that crutch of the trauma we're all carrying. Those inherent generational pieces because that's sometimes what happens."

ELDER LESSONS

The gathering was for all families in Mi'kma'ki who have been affected by the colonial residential institution that ripped children from their homes, their communities and their culture. More than 150 people participated and some came from P.E.I. and New Brunswick, as well as Cape Breton and Nova Scotia.

"Everyone was impacted because when you think about even the communities, imagine communities that were empty, with no children?" said Sylliboy.

"Or maybe even one or two that were left behind. They were impacted because their cousins or friends were gone. So, we have to remember that. Everyone was affected."

Some elders who are survivors of the residential institutions who hadn't shared before did; giving others insight into their experiences and journey to healing.

"We had elders share about addictions. You know, they were in addictions for 20some years and now they are sharing stories for some 20 some-years," Sylliboy said.

"It's amazing hearing those stories because we had children coming out of residential school that didn't know how to feel; that didn't know how to react with feelings. We had a lot that just went to a bottle, or whatever. And that's where a lot of it was masked."

Through workshops like the Family Reconciliation Gathering, Bernard said they learn how to deal with their emotions - something the Canadian residential institution took from them.

"They were numb before," Bernard said. "Like (the survivors) said, the bottle is what regulated those emotions, what shut down those emotions. Go take the bottle, go beat something up, go hurt something - that's how they dealt with their emotions. Now, it's happiness and all kinds of good things."

LESSONS GRATEFULLY LEARNED

Educator Christina (Duce) Sylliboy of We'koqma'q First Nation attended the gathering with her family members.

She showed the Cape Breton Post some of the gifts participants were gifted from Indigenous organizations such as a smudging kit with prayers and a traditional Mi'kmaq four sacred medicine package with cedar, tobacco, sweet grass and sage.

"This is sacred. It helps people. Whether it's you or other people," Sylliboy said. "People need that. It wasn't taught when we were growing up."

Yvonne Cremo, also of We'koqma'q, said the gathering wasn't "a vacation but it was a peaceful one."

"All these little classroom things they did, there was a blessing in them because there were things in there they wanted to share with us and I learned from them," she said.

"They bring it to the heart. Eventually, when I go into the classroom myself I'll say, 'I heard this from this one and I want to bring it to you.'"

Cremo's daughter Tara Cremo added, "You actually leave here with more thought than you actually came with, you know what I mean?"

Bernard and Sylliboy said they plan to hold more events like this for families in the future.