PANDEMIC JOKES

The pandemic has provided us with humour that will be studied in the future in order to understand some of the ways we survived these particular hard times. Following is a smattering of jokes that were devised or adapted over the last 15 months.

• Prediction: There will be a minor baby boom next year and then one day, we will see the rise of the Quaranteens.

• Quarantine Diary:

Day 1: I am stocked up on enough non-perishable items to get me through the next six months without having to leave the house.

Day 1 plus 45 minutes: I am in the grocery store because I needed an O Henry bar.

• Sometimes, I wonder if all this is happening because I didn’t forward that email to 10 people.

• Until further notice, the days of the week are now called: Thisday, Thatday, Otherday, Someday, Yesterday, Today and Nextday.

• Today’s Weather: Room temperature.

• Never in my life could I imagine that my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth.

• Anyone else’s car getting three weeks to the gallon?

• We ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow “romaines” to be seen.

• If you bought 144 rolls of toilet paper in preparation for a 14-day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before coronavirus.

• The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie.

• Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.

• What did the barista call her face mask? A coughy filter.