Thinking outside the wine box

Why are we East Coasters obsessed with drinking? We use alcohol to celebrate, to mark the beginning or end of something (“kick off the weekend with a cold one!”), to destress and relax.

We drink to socialize, to feel less anxious, to have fun and let go. Most people never question why drinking with virtually every activity is the norm here. And why would they? There are ads everywhere for alcohol, almost everyone you know drinks, patio beers are expected of you, and the majority of restaurant menus only list alcoholic options and completely omit non-alcoholic options, even if they have a great selection.

Booze is glamorized, pushed and embraced in virtually every environment. Going to a baby shower? Bring wine. Going to the beach? Bring beer. Just wrote your last exam? Get drunk.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We are capable of socializing without wine. We are able to relax after a hard day with yoga or cooking or tea on the back deck. We are more creative than the boring and lame idea that you can’t have fun unless you’re half in the bag.

Instead, be the rebel who goes against the norm — throw a booze-free party, challenge friends to a month off of drinking, and stop giving alcohol gift cards because you think they’re perfect for every adult. There are more sober people out there than you realize. There are even more people out there that would prefer not to drink but who do anyway because everyone else is. More and more people are questioning their relationship with alcohol and trying sobriety, so the need to “think outside the wine box” is increasing.

I was also once obsessed with drinking until I decided I wanted my life back and quit. I used to say that I couldn’t quit because “I live in Halifax. We’re a port city! We drink here!” The fact that most of my friends and family drank also contributed to my perception that I didn’t have a problem since “everyone else was doing it.”

But I did have a problem. A big problem that required me to completely give up alcohol in order to save my own life. I worked hard on my recovery and a few years into sobriety I had the strong urge to share my story, so I started talking about it on YouTube. I learned so much about recovery and heard so many success stories from people around the world. I also heard from a lot of people who were ashamed of what alcohol turned them into yet were equally scared of quitting.

Feeling this way isn’t uncommon, yet we feel alone when we’re in it. We can even feel alone when we’re in recovery or even when we’re just taking a monthlong booze break. I felt alone when I was newly sober, and for many, this can lead to relapses.

Talking on YouTube was great, but I wanted to help people in my community think outside this wine box and improve their lives without alcohol.

I believe the opposite of addiction is connection. When I got sober, I craved connection. I craved talking with other people who understood what I was going through. I needed to vent and even share that I missed being a drunk sometimes. I needed to know I was normal, heard and OK.

But there seemed to be limited options when it came to meeting other recovering alcoholics in my city. Structured meetings, addictions counselling and online support groups were great, but

I felt like what I was seeking didn’t exist. So, I decided to create it. Sober City was born in January 2020 and has been growing ever since.

Sober City offers information, resources and inspiration on where to go and what to do in Nova Scotia for the newly sober, the sobercurious and those who dabble in the alcohol-free life. I host weekly online hangouts and events to meet other sober people and will eventually expand into other provinces and offer more services. There is so much more to the East Coast than day drinking, breweries and boozy brunches. Your life is precious, and you deserve to live it without hangovers.