Ableist language hurts

They're phrases, words and sayings that most people use every day.

When someone is busy at work, it's a "crazy" day. When people aren't listening to others, requests are falling on "deaf ears."

While in most cases it's unintentional, and many may think it isn't harmful, it is discriminatory ableist language.

Ableism has many definitions. At its simplest, ableism is discrimination and oppression of disabled people. Ableist language is language that is offensive to disabled people.

"But it goes beyond that," says Lisa Marie Walters, a St. John's N.L. disability advocate and mobility aid user, in a Facebook Messenger interview.

"It’s also the language that we use that we may not even realize is ableist and more subtly paints disability in a negative light."

That includes terms like "wheelchair-bound," Walters said.

"[It] frames a wheelchair as a limiting thing when really, it provides freedom and independence to someone who needs help getting around."

Non-disabled people using people with disabilities as their "inspiration" is another problem, Walters said.

"When someone tells me that I’m an inspiration just because I got out of bed and went about my life because I’m disabled, that has a hugely negative impact on me," said Walters.

"At least half of those people think they are complimenting me when they say that, but it honestly doesn’t change the fact that I am hurt by those words and by the implications that my life is less than because I’m disabled."

THE "ISM" WE DON'T TALK ABOUT

Cynthia Bruce is an assistant professor of music therapy at Concordia University who lives in Kentville, N.S. Bruce is blind and is a blind activist educator whose research, teaching and advocacy focus on the work of disabled academics and scholars.

Bruce said misguided intentions from non-disabled people often make conversations about ableism and ableist language difficult.

"Ableism is the 'ism' we never talk about in public," said Bruce.

"I think that we think about disability and the ways we interact with disabled people in charitable terms...I

Cynthia Bruce is an assistant professor of Music Therapy at Concordia University who lives in Kentville, N.S. Bruce is blind and a blind activist educator whose research, teaching and advocacy focus on the work of disabled academics and scholars. Bruce said that conversations about ableism and ableist language need to happen, no matter how uncomfortable non-disabled people feel. think we have a hard time believing, in some respects, that disability discrimination exists."

Nobody likes the idea that they're discriminating against disabled people,

Bruce said. It's why there can be pushback when people point out ableist language.

"Lots of disability discrimination happens, even when people are well-meaning," said Bruce.

"So when people raise it, particularly when disabled people raise it, we have a hard time getting traction on it because people think they're being kind."

As a defensive reaction, people also often dismiss the effect their word choices have, suggesting that others are being too sensitive.

"I don't think I'm being overly sensitive," said Bruce.

"I just want my way of being in the world respected and not denigrated."

RESPECT THE LANGUAGE PEOPLE WANT YOU TO USE

ISocial, medical and hu man resources training often teaches the use of "person- first language," identifying the person before a disabil- ity, or saying "person with a disability."

However, Walters finds it strange when non-disabled people dance around addressing disabilities.

"I prefer identity-first language because I feel like person-first is mostly just to make non-disabled people comfortable," said Walters.

"I don’t think my personhood needs to go before my disability in order for someone to remember that I’m a person. So that language really matters to me and the majority of people in the disabled community."

If someone corrects language, it's not always meant to be criticism, and people don't need to be defensive about their intent, Walters said.

"If a disabled person tells you that your language is ableist, don’t argue that it isn’t. We have the lived experience, and you should accept that we care enough to correct you in hopes that you won’t place yourself or us in this position again."

It’s not unusual for language to change over time. Frank Costa is the executive director of Community Connections P.E.I. in Summerside, an organization that offers employment support and community programs for some 140 adults with intellectual disabilities.

From 1969 to 1985, Inclusion Canada was called the Canadian Association for the Mentally Retarded. It's a name many would find offensive but was the language was used medically and socially until advocates were listened to and the name was changed, Costa says.

"[People with intellectual disabilities] were making the point that, 'we find that word offensive,'" Costa said.

Making changes to language comes down to listening to and respecting the wishes of others, he adds.

"We recognize that things are offensive and we stop using that," said Costa. "I think a lot of it comes down to being respectful when you're using language."

BE OPEN TO CHANGE

To make changes, it takes work and a willingness to do better, both Walters and Bruce said.

"The best way for people to be more mindful of the words they use if they want to do their best to avoid ableist language is to do some Googling," said Walters.

"Find out what words and terms are considered ableist and work on finding replacement words. Start using those replacement words in sentences until it becomes natural."

Walters said reading books by disabled authors, following disabled people on social media or watching shows written by a disabled person can teach others about their language and interactions with disabled people.

Bruce added that people need to be willing to overcome their discomfort, make mistakes and correct them.

"There's a lot of learning that needs to happen at this stage of the game," said Bruce.

"I don't mind being part of those discussions, but people need to be open to learning; you have to be open to making mistakes and just making a change and moving on from that mistake rather than feeling defensive.”

It ultimately comes down to listening to people with lived experience, Bruce said.

“We have a perspective that’s valid and people need to respect what we say and when we say it.”